Sandra P2 Heaven and Forgiveness

 Sandra Part 2

So when we're here, ( in spirit ) we finally have the capability to see things, and to mend things, and to know that we are not going to be harmed, we also have a chance to forgive. The more you forgive, the lighter you are, the more capable you are, of ascending -- I don’t know any other word to use. Once you are there, then you can lead others, other souls that are beautiful beautiful ones. Not the ones with the chains on them, they are still clanking around, but the good people.

There is a little lady ... I grew up in a small town in Mississippi, and we had a 5 and dime store. There was a sweet little old lady, , , The little children, the black children, didn’t have any money. They would come in with a penny for candy once a week, she would always give them an extra piece. People like that are up there. A lot of the greatest souls are the ones that you never hear about.

The politicians, they’re down here, (laughing) They're wondering why they are not going anywhere, they are pounding themselves into the ground! Oh I laughed so much! Some of the politicians made it, but they were still patting themselves on the back. Going around and wanting to shake everyone’s hand and no one is interested in how great they are, because there is no difference. The only difference is in capability and I guess you could say in likeness.

Likeness in the amount of forgiving you have done, you see forgiving is like being very muddy and going through a shower or a car wash or something. Every time we forgive, you are forgiving your self mostly. But say my husband, all the unkind things he said, other hurtful things that he did, when I forgive that I am loosening up a lot of the junk that is attached to the chain I have been dragging. Every time you have a resentment, you put another link in your chain with something on that link, a memory, its your linking . it all that is, is who you are – that is a personality. If you can get rid of those links all the way down to the one that is on your ankle, imagine how godly you are? See I have not been able to get rid of all of it yet, I still have some things.

But some of the chains, oddly enough, are beautiful ones. They are best friend type things. But you even give those up because, when , you have your idea of my best friend is great because…., you are overlooking something. Like my friend Corrine, she had some things about her that I didn’t even know. And when I got on the other side, she shared a great many things I didn’t know. If I had been a little bit more aware and attuned, I would have seen these things. I could have helped her. I used to regret that. But if you take off the links of friendship, it allows the friendship to grow deeper. Right now it feels so odd, it feels so heavy, now that I have been where I am. I feel the sadness just weighing her down right now, she is going to have to release it, and to recognize that it is a natural thing. It is alright to be sad, but you have to let it go. Because when you let it go, your love for that person can grow even deeper than it is right now.

Lewis: So how are you now?

Sandra: You know when I was here in life, I was most happiest when I was singing. Now not only can I sing, but I can do so with much more feeling, clarity. The blending of voices is beautiful beyond description! I have no job or children to pull me away from what I desire. It is something, it is like when you are a child on Christmas morning, finding the present you wanted under the Christmas tree and being able to play with it all day, instead of having your big brother taking it from you. It is being able to continue to grow deeper, and stronger, and better into it without interruption. It is to be able to put your heart into it so fully and feel the dynamic of it grow -- I think those are the best words to describe what heaven is.

Heaven is using the very thing God gave you to develop and you can do so without restraint, beyond any limit or capabilities you that thought you might have had in your life. It is the greatest form of ecstasy to do what you always wanted to do and more. I used to dream what would it be like to sing in the chorus at a production at Carnegie Hall. Now where I am, Carnegie hall, for all of its greatness, is a bit sour and off tune. There can be no blending, intuitive blending like Heaven. Can you imagine being the conductor of an orchestra and having perfect harmony, perfect synchronization, because you are all of one mind? You can be the whole orchestra and the chorus. That is what I guess they say is to make a joyful noise! Its just beyond comparison to anything here. The more you go with it, you don’t ever become …

Oh when you are here and you are a teenager and you fall in love for the first time, it’s like the 4th of July fireworks! And then a few weeks later, you see your boyfriend talking to another girl, or you hear that he has asked somebody else out, or he tells you that you look flat footed ... or just something, and the little romance caves in on you. Then you are back down to where you were before, and the world looks the same again.

Where I am, the world is different, and it stays different and it grows better, continuously better. The more harmony there is, the more I can grow in my capabilities, the more I can blend my capabilities with others. The more love -- when I am doing what I am doing what I love the best, I am creating love. I am making it grow and touch others. That is what we could all do.

It is so much greater than just loving a friend or a family member. And that is about the greatest thing we have here, is a family member or a friend or a spouse, or for some maybe it’s just a pet. But take that feeling and go with it and magnify it hundreds of times. And each time you magnify it, include others. You all are interconnected. You all know how each other feels. And we feel sadness, there is no doubt about it -- when we see someone who is dark, we feel sadness. But then we recognize it, and we feel love towards this person. And as we feel the love, we release the sadness. Let it go. We become whole again, and we become closer to each other.

You know there are what I would call angels, people who are very much like that TV program that Sally Field was always in? [The Flying Nun] There are people that are cheerful like that who come and see to it that you learn cheerfulness. The more cheerful you are, the more capable you are of forgiving yourself, and the more you forgive yourself the more cheerful you can be. It’s a growing thing. But these are not always people we have known here, they are people who have already been, and who knows they could even be the real angels but, I like to think of them as angels that’s what I think of them. And they help us, so it is not like we are orphans thrown out onto a desolate plain by ourselves.

When we go to sleep and we are numb and we wake up for the first time, because it is the first time, there is usually at least one smiling one, calmly waiting. I used to call them the delivery nurses because I felt it was a lot like being a baby. Because babies can’t talk, and we have all the capabilities of thought formation and more, because we have our memories. And the delivery nurses are always very calm. They don’t usually say very much, because I have watched how they work. They closely listen because they want us to tell, when we get into this, we want to tell all the things that we felt. All the people we knew, the fun things we did, we get off our chest the things we knew we did but didn’t feel good about them when we did them. So we always like to help the delivery nurses out a little.

Delivery nurses are of course in the hospitals. When somebody dies at home, it is a little different. They are there, but it’s a lot calmer setting than it is in the hospital: hustle and bustle and there is all kinds of tension always. So when you die at home, it is much quieter. I did not have that peace. There are some who do.

Lewis: So where you are at now, does your understanding of God continue to grow?

Sandra: Well you know the closest I ever felt to God was when I was in the choir at church. The music, in the early mornings the light would come through the rose window in the church, and the light would come down sometimes in great beams. And when I was singing in the middle of the choir, that was the closest I felt to God. And now that I am where I am, and the depth and blending of the choir is so much greater, and its of one mind, although it’s not like we lose our identities and become little automatons. It is like we become a united work of linked minds and feeling hearts, all putting our heart into it. Each one a masterpiece, and the masterpiece as a whole is just beyond expression. I know this is God’s creation, and I am so privileged to be a part of it! So that yes, my concept has expanded hundreds of times over what it was here, and I imagine it will keep growing.

Lewis: I want to clarify this. Have you ever spoken to anyone about the angels or Christ?

Sandra: No, I’ve just gone where my heart leads me. I stayed here as long as I could, and I did what I could for them. When I saw the light coming back into them, I knew I could leave. My brother was waiting for me when I woke up. He was my delivery nurse. He looked wonderful! He was very patient and understanding with me, and he showed me around. He showed me about the light. I used to sit on the bed next to my daughter Sally and you know how I told you to pet the cat? I would pet her, she had a new baby when I died. I never did get to see him when I was alive. He was born 5 months after, and she grieved in her heart over that tremendously. I could see him lying down in the bed next to her like a little glowing jelly bean. And I, it was so neat, I could see her put her arm around him, and the little jelly bean would send his light up her arm, and it would go only so far and then it would stop. She is all right now.

 When I started seeing the light come back into them, my brother asked me if I wanted to move on. I said, “well what else is there for me to do?” And he said, “I know where you want to be, in the choir.” I said, ''the choir? Oh yes! Where is the choir?” We always make jokes about the choir of angels. And on our way there I kind of joked and asked, “do they look like the Mormon Tabernacle choir?” And he said, “better, they have sent you a special invitation.” Because in this life I couldn’t find Carnegie Hall, he said better because the acoustics are perfect. We laughed all the way there. My brother Jimmy, he was always so light of heart when he was young, it was like we were kids again together. He was a big pest but we really enjoyed each other while we were young.

Lewis: I am glad you are so happy.

 Sandra Part 3

Sandra: My brother Jim, he was an outdoorsman. He loved to water ski, be in his boat, go fishing, go hunting, he loved all of these things just as much as I loved singing. So I said, “Jimmy, I know you are not in the choir.” He could never carry a tune, he was just ... I said, “what are you doing with all of your time here now?” He said, “I am with daddy, and we go fishing and we talk. Try and reminisce about things.” My daddy was a barber, he was always the most handsome man in town. He said, “we try every now when we hear that someone is getting ready to come to the other side in our little town, we go prepare a place for them, make them welcome.” All of them know daddy of course, the older ones. There isn’t a single man in town who didn’t have his haircut at least once by my daddy.

My daddy, his favorite thing after a long day at work, he used to like to come home and sit on the back porch, not the front one, the back one because my mother would be working in the kitchen and doing well, making her bread and shelling peas and things. And he liked to smell the smell in the kitchen but he liked to stay away from it so he wouldn’t have to shell the peas himself. He'd sit on the back porch, and get his corn cob pipe and his newspaper and watch the sunset. So it was like a painting, he never did have time to take up painting, he was always too busy. He raised us during the depression.

So when I got to the other side, I said, “daddy did you start doing your painting?” He said, “yeah, but you know what I found out the most beautiful sunsets I used to watch?” I used to think there is no painter on earth that could come up with colors like that. He said, “you know, I think the best minds are doing the painting, and God is stealing the ideas and he is using them for his sunsets!” You know I used to think when I would see a painting like a Picasso and it would have a green sky or yellow or purple that that was outlandish, just plain out of the question, and I watched a few sunsets with my daddy from our side, and the colors were just, they blended so subtly that there must have been millions of shades of color, and the effect was so soothing and beautiful it was like being able to see a rose petal up close through one of those microscopes and seeing every single cell.

 Sandra: It is all so very beautiful. So I guess what I'm saying to you is the magnitude of what we have without the body is so much greater. It's hard for me to tell you what to expect. But I just know there are plenty of people available When anyone's time comes and ready when they get there. People down here just need to know that they don't need to grieve so hard.

It's going to be naturally a separation anxiety, and a sadness, a loss of company, but it' not a loss of love. It is not, it's an opportunity for that love to grow greater, and encompass more for people than it did to begin with. It's not one on one, it's many. All in one. That's the best I know how to say it anyway.

There's another reason I came tonight. I check in from time to time on Corinne just to make sure everything's alright with her, and I could see that she was calling on me again. When I came, I saw ... I never met her cousin, but I heard her speak of him many times. She used to share with me some of his laughs, and I could see she was going to go back through some of the same things she'd been through with me. I didn't know it hit her this hard. It grieves me to see her feeling like this. I'm concerned for her. I can feel her pain. She just needs to know he's alright. She needs to be strong. Our greatest concern is her.

He's not strong enough to come right back to her now. He has been through a far worse time than I had. He had a lot of limitations on his ability to know things. You see I was a lawyer so I was always open minded and could get interested with things. His wife was very fearful all the time and it prevented him, he let it prevent him, from opening up to the ideas that were being presented to him. He knew they were there, but he didn't dare learn about them. He's having to adjust. He's having to go through a great deal of strain right now.

His family and friends are in very deep grief. He's carrying it. It will probably take nine months or more for him to be able to break off from that and even begin to think about anyone else. I just wanted her to know that he cannot progress until these chains are broken. He is alright, nothing's going to kill him! He does have his father with him. He's got four very beautiful young ladies, three of them he knows very closely. They are his great aunts. His wife would be very happy, she knew the last of them, the aunt Francine. There's another aunt and uncle from the country. And they are with him. You see, he is going to be with me in the choir when he's ready. It may take two years for him to become ready. He has a great talent for music. I understand his ability with the guitar is very strong. And he can do other things of course. But the guitar is particularly his specialty. And we are very happy to have him with us, and we are waiting patiently.

His grandmother and grandfather are with him, on both sides. Corrine does not know much about the other grandparents, but I understand that the grandfather Brantley is very much like Abraham Lincoln for character. His grandmother's name was Lori; she's a very patient, kind woman. I do look in on him because the sooner that he is healed, it is – I can see a light going both ways when you have a link with someone, and this person becomes lighter, and this one also lightens up, just in reflection if nothing else. So, either way, I can help if I can be with Corrine, and make that helpful if I can be with him. For, you see, our friendship grows greater when we're on the other side. You never lose your friends, they often come closer to you. Which is something to look forward to.

Lewis: Yes

Sandra: I just want you to know that everything is being done that can be done for them. You just must be patient and heal your own self, feel grief, allow it to flow out of you, let the tears flow. And then just let it go like a rain cloud passes over and then it's gone, just let it go. Any time I imagine when they released the slaves and let them go, they had to learn how to deal without their chains, and in a way they grieved, because there was not a master to care for them anymore. So there is a separation anxiety, or a sadness, whatever you want to call it.

Sandra: I have learned that if I have a distinct desire in my heart that I can get it. Because even though I know I wanted to be at Carnegie Hall here when I was a little girl, where I sing now is far greater. And I had a great desire to be with my daddy again when he passed on. All of that has come to pass. I really have nothing else that is a great desire for me except I do keep watch over my loved ones.

Sandra: My greatest desire is to be an angel in the quire. That is all. I have my heart's desire. I have a voice which I can't begin to show you. But we will some day. My happiness exceeds even the greatest thing I could think of here on earth, so I am perfectly happy. I have nothing and I'm lucky, I could not want any more.

Lewis: That's good.

Sandra: So you see I am just perfectly happy, and I feel so very good, about where I'm going and what I'm doing. I feel good about my family when I look down on them. I feel good about my friends that are still here. Everything is wonderful. I know that if any of them have any trouble, I can think about good for them and then it comes to them. I know that when they decide to come over, I can be there waiting, because I will know that it is their time, and I can wait for them. I can be the delivery nurse. I can show them what to do. I can listen to them. There is nothing more I could want. I feel like I've got Jesus in my veins when I'm singing.   I feel I am an angel in the heavenly choir.

Lewis: yes.

Sandra: And another thing, Heaven is not boring!  I have heard this so many times, people saying they would be bored in 5 minutes. We are always making up new harmonies, new songs, new words for the songs, new meanings for the words, new ways to praise the Father, the glory of his creation. We use some songs that are especially for children, and when we get them particularly right, you pick somebody. Somebody with musical talent, to put the idea in a dream. Or just in their intuition. And then we watch it grow. All of the great stars on earth in music are great listeners. Even rock music. They are young people here that are wanting rock music. And so we try, and of course I don't like it, but there are those here and they do their best to create music for those people. They can get an inkling just a tiny idea of a melody to get started, they do the rest.

Lewis: Is there anything we can do for you?

Sandra: I just want you to tell Corrine that she's loved and cared for. Tell her I know how she feels, and to go ahead and let her grief come out. Go ahead and cry, and let it go past. You can't let it come out till you cry for it. I want to see her light again. Like when she first met you.

Lewis: She sparks every now and then.

Sandra: Well, better watch out, you might need some sunglasses.

Lewis: Yes.

Sandra: I guess I'll be leaving.

Lewis: We thank you for coming.

Sandra: I know it was an unusual way but I just had to come in this time.

Lewis: It's been our pleasure and an honor to have you.

Sandra: Thank you, Good night

Lewis: Good night, and God Bless

Back to the LIBRARY

Tags: Death, Dying, Crossing over, Forgiveness, Heaven, Interview, Spirit, Resentment