Sandra's_Death_and_Crossing_over_p1
Some names were changed to protect family members
Subject: What it’s like crossing over and being in Heaven
Comments: June the 1st 1991 tape one. In May, 1983 Sandra passed away and came to me in dreams several times. She asked me to share her story with the world. In 1991, 5 years later, she returned and shared her story with Lewis and myself, and reminded me of her request. In 1995 I discovered the internet. In 2018 I am completing my promise to her here.
Lewis: How are you this evening?
Sandra: Hello, I understand you are Lewis?
I am sorry if I am speaking a little slowly.
Lewis: That is quite all right.
Sandra: It is my first time to come back.
Lewis: Welcome
Sandra: I have been away from here for more than 5 years now.
Maybe you have heard her speak of me.
She calls on me sometimes, I am her friend Sandra.
I have been with her and others. It took me the space time of about two years before I could go on. My family was so very burdened when I left! I stayed to try to smooth things over a bit.
Lewis: Is the candlelight flickering bothering your eyes?
Sandra: No I am just not used to being like this anymore, it feels very heavy to me.
I just wanted to say a few things about what it is like to be on the other side. I can feel in her there is a sadness. It is the same sadness that was there when I was gone before, only this time I think it is a little deeper. When you fall asleep it's ... do you know what it feels like to sort of doze off to sleep and then wake back up right away? Your body is kind of numb.
When you first go to sleep and you detach from your body you are numb because you have no feeling yet in your spiritual body. You see, your spiritual body is like you are asleep when it is in this body. So when you first wake up, you are used to feeling all the sensations and relying on them. Touching things, seeing things, smelling things.
You can see, but you see differently -- when you see its more like looking into the bright sunlight without sunglasses on, you aren’t seeing very clearly. I imagine it’s what it was when it’s the first day and you open your eyes as a newborn. It takes you awhile to figure out how to focus. You look at someone and you see the light particles in them, depending on how they feel about themselves, how bright they are. I have learned this.
Those that are very depressed or sad or angry are shades of gray, and children are almost always bright. People that are happy, that feel good about something, are bright. When you look at somebody and they are gray, you are still not seeing them. It’s more like seeing a newspaper picture that has been rubbed. You don’t see the features the way you do with the physical eyes at first.
When you get used to your spiritual eyes, the features are far more crisp than your physical eyes. It is more like -- you know, that laser photography that is so detailed and clear? It is like that when you can do it. People who are grieving for someone are very dark. The worst thing about it is, it causes grief to the one who has just left, when they should be spending their time learning how to feel and see. They are looking at their loved ones and seeing them very dark. Then they are looking at this one over here that is lit up like a Christmas tree. They wonder what’s wrong? They can instinctively know that there is a problem when they figure out the correlation, when they see the children all being bright, the laughing children. There are some children who have been spanked or something who are dark, momentarily, but they brighten back up again.
The animals are this way too, the pets. You can watch a lady hold a cat and stroke the cat. It’s like you see little sparklers going down the cats back! It is very interesting. You’ll learn this, these things you just figure them out like any child will learn something. Just being out there playing in the backyard, you learn that water is wet, and fire is hot, and things like this. So when a person leaves, they should be learning these things.
It’s hard for the family not to grieve. I know I lost my brother, my only brother, to a heart attack. In the morning, we realized my father had died the same way at 45. It was the same as my brother. He was as healthy as a horse and then one morning, well it started at night when he went to bed, and he was dead by 3 in the morning. He had 5 children, 2 boys who were in grade school and when the other 3 were bigger; he decided to have a 2nd family. I didn’t face my grief, I was very busy. I had a practice and I was teaching, and I had children of my own to raise. I didn’t think about it. I didn’t lighten back up.
My brother told me this, see, when I got to the other side he told me. He said, “when I left, I saw you get dark and it started at your head and it went down.” I found out I had my cancer about 5 months after my brother was gone. I kept it secret from everyone. Then I found out a year and a half later, I went in for another biopsy and I found out it was malignant. I felt we could get it. By this time I had divorced my husband. I was free of a great weight when I did that, but then there were other pressures. If it was not one thing, it was another, and I never had the willingness, or the time to clean up what I felt inside. I just got tired and tired of life.
When I left my family [passed away], it was like I still had the weight as if I was here and everything I wanted to leave was still on my shoulders! *I cared for them and I carried them and I begged and pleaded with them to know that I was alright.*
You know that is why I had to come to Corrine. She had an open mind and we had been good friends for 10 years. We talked about a lot of things. We had a lot of things in common. She was 12 years younger than I. I was always thinking, if I could only tell her what I know now, she won’t have to go through what I had to go through. It was more, I don’t know how to explain it. Instead of being a mother daughter relationship, it was more like big sister. I always thought I could train her to avoid some things that I had to feel. I saw her husband was just like mine, but the time it was changing too. What I had to go through and then she wouldn’t have to go through it also because I had already been through it. She was going to have to do more, so that my daughters, when they came along would have it easier too.
So I went to her. How I did it was I know where she lives or where she did then. I knew exactly where the bed was that she slept in. I knew the times that she went to bed, because her husband used to run us out of the house at exactly 10 o’clock when we would have a party in their house, he would run us off. I knew when she would go to bed. I know that your mind goes into a curve before it goes into the deep sleep. I knew her so well, I knew exactly how to get into her thoughts, into her mind, and that’s what I did.
Of course she ignored it, but she did mention it to her husband. I heard her say it the next morning. So I knew it could be done. It had been 6 months and my family was, particularly my sons, my daughters both of them are artistic and they let go of their grief playing their music and doing different things. But my sons, particularly Billy, he was the one who was most like me and was holding it all right here [in the heart] exactly like my brother told me I had done.
So the next time to make her know that it wasn’t just a nice little dream, I let her really see me. She was not like herself, and I had to beg for her to give me attention, to listen to me. It took her a long time to get up enough courage, but she's done alright, she's done more than I asked really. Most of the message got through to my older son and he told the other son. You see I also reached out to my daughters who felt me. Then my daughter-in-law believed in me. I touched them in their sleep too, and that was enough times in different places and it all matched. Then my sons let it go.
My ex-husband was the one that suffered. He has a tremendous amount of guilt from the things he said and did. I am in his mind often. It is far more easy to forgive when you are on the other side, because you leave all of this heavy junk behind. Your emotions carry you down so heavily. It’s like baggage that you drag around and you know that old scrooge play with the ball and chains and all of the things on the chains? That was a very very good analogy. Charles Dickens must have had an ancestor or family member that told him this because of what he saw, that is how he perceived it. It is beautiful how he wrote it. Because that is the way I see it.
